This year got me. 2020 tried, but I persevered. 2021 tried harder, but again, I persevered (or so I thought).

This year, though, grit wasn’t enough. The weight of what wasn’t working was just so heavy. I had to bear the breakdown. Face the pain. Tell my truth. Own my part. Move away from what I held most dear and secure in hopes of healing, freedom, and healthy relationship, mostly with myself.

The price to my own wholeness had become unbearable.

So, I coughed it up and let it all go.  

Many of you have borne witness to and/or supported me in such meaningful ways this year as I completed my marriage and began the terrifying and empowering act of creating myself anew. It’s amazing how divorce is not just the death of a family unit, but a whole world of dreams and plans, a whole identity you might have adored and now are left to rebuild from jagged pieces.

I know so many leaders this year who have faced similar breakdowns, unexpected endings, loss of beloveds, and unwelcome change.

So, my question remains:

How do we lead our teams, businesses, even ourselves, when we’re grappling with a broken, tender heart?

Aren’t we supposed to be positive, confident, and strong (as they say)?

Honestly, I don’t know yet. What I am learning is what helps… 

We keep showing up. We bare ourselves and our very human struggles. We lean into support. We allow ourselves to be held and cared for. We nurture our tenderness and give it space to be. We honor our boundaries. We read lots and lots of poetry. We let ourselves grieve. We pause, we say no, we rest. We feel the feelings strongly and honestly. We do our emotional and spiritual work.

And when we’re ready, we move those feelings through. We breathe. We dance. We stay open and humbled. 

Eventually, I hope, we find our strength. 

There isn’t a non-messy playbook for collective and/or personal trauma, complex grief, and leading through global change at the scale we are today. We are writing the story as we live it. We are the wisdom bearers and wayfinders, shining light in all of the shadowy corners. This is the path, friends, of Wholeness at Work. Thank you for walking the path with me.

If you’re also in the depths of grief, transition, loss, or change, please let me know. I would be honored to hold space, a conversation, or more, to support you.